So aft the day I blogged, my mum said she wants to give me Econs tuition aft I told her I'm gna fail my Midyrs. (which I went just now with a sucky feeling of going for tuition, but its good cos my sis got A for her Alevel Econs.)
Then I started crying. Sounds childish that I cry cos of tuition, but noooo, its deeper than that man.

I just kept crying cos I told my mum I hate school & I dont wna stay in JC alr cos I seriously regretted.
And so my mum kept saying its too late alr since I chose JC.
But I dont get it man, New Town taught me life-long learning! Hahaha.
Okay anyway, so my mum & sis just said I should just do my best in JC cos even if I dont get into local uni, I can go SIM. & if I dont get into local uni from poly if I go, I also will go SIM.
So I still end up at the same place, but if JC still 1 yr faster.
Ah whateverrrrr, I'm just gna try & do my best.
But I'm gna fail my Midyrs alr, seriously. To the maxzxz.
Even though I studied, I seriously didnt know how to do most of my papers!
And I totally screwed up my Alevel Chinese Oral last friday.

Invigilator 'What uni do you wna go aft graduating? Local/overseas?'
Me 'I dont know (only because I didnt know what SMU was in chinese)'
Invigilator 'How can you not know! (begins listing the local unis in chinese)'

Then the invigilator prompted me so many times because the silence was too overwhelming.

And I just had to say 'I've a friend (actually my sister's friend) who's going to Oxford to study to become a doctor'
Everything else was in chinese except the word Oxford. I've no idea why I just had to say that.

Watched 21 last friday, cool show. Eileen repeated 100 yrs later damn alot of times haha.
Was good to have seen everyone after quite awhile.

Went back to New Town on Monday with Nana. New Town's full of vibrant colours like a kindergarden! Its damn gross, seriously.
Was greeted by a warm welcome of 'why you wearing slippers' by Yang meh meh.
Talking about her, my future chinese teacher is just like her! HOD, talk & nag non-stop, but the slightly nicer version HAHA.
Went to find Mr Alfred Goh & talked to him for quite awhile, with him giving me advice like 'If I'm sure I want to do Mass com then I should just go ahead next year aft completing this year in JC'
Then after met Elyna in KFC so we had a good catching up session.

This week is marking week so no school. YAY! I love school holidays!
I absolutely love school holidays! YAY!
































Elyna is damn cute I swear, so is Nana of course. Nana's cuteness owns everyone hahah!
















We were never meant to be together, for a simple reason that I was the middle man. But I still gave you a shot, only to be hurt repeatedly. As much as I wanted & still want things to work out time & again, it'll never happen & I know it. But I must admit, a part of me still longs for the person I first knew in the beginning. For this is just pure wishful thinking

The whole month of my June hols passed by in a blur.
Was supposed to spend it studying for my Midyrs which are this week, but I ended up slacking the pia-ing only the last week.
Had beach touch training in Sentosa which was fun & now the whole team knows I've got a piercing alr, except the coach!
Nana and I officially cannot study today cos I wasted 4 hrs with her HAHA.
Watched Zohan w Dawn in Vivo last friday, damn retarded!

After reading Teen Vogue, I sort of realized I wouldn't mind doing editorial in say, Cleo or something. Teen Vogue inspired me!
So at that moment, I realized I'm starting to blossom (literally! cant fucking lose weight despite trainings. huuuge problem cos I'm not even eating alot nowadays like ystd all I ate was half a yoghurt and cereal :() because I'm still in the process of figuring out what I want to do in future.
So, I sort of decided that I'm going to do Mass Com in Ngee Ann if I retain.
I really want to go poly now, quite badly because I'm so sick of studying.
But at the same time I dont want to do badly in PJC because I'll be labelled a retainee if I do go to Mass Com, a label many will regard as stupid.
I totally feel like telling my Mum I still feel like going poly, especially since she think I should start Econs & Chem tuition soon because I told her I'm gna fail both.
I didnt know how to do yesterday's Econs at all & to add on to that, I slept during the paper.
And I didnt know how to do today's Chemistry paper.
So anyway, I'm left with Chinese, Chinese A level oral, Maths and Human geog then midyrs are over.
Actually it didnt even feel like I was having exams, teeheehee.

I feel like just dropping out, get a job till Poly next year. But since its only a few more months to Promos, I'm gna get it done & over with.
So sick of studying, thinking about it is already so fucked up.
Gna read Hot because Blake Lively is in it.
That, Juliana Theory & Death Cab are the only things that can cheer me up now.



Spot me! I was squashed :(






Totally embarrassed ourselves by doing this outside Starbucks in Vivo

My 4D3N holiday with my Mum and Sis to Cebu, the oldest city in Philippines btw, was rather fruitful.
SilkAir for 3 hours without any computer!
Was gladly greeted by Disney & Nickelodeon (2 channels my Mum cancelled few months back because we bought Nintendo Wii), Star World, HBO, AXN, Hallmark etc in the hotel.
Shopping was just like Bangkok, minus all the flea markets. Continuous hours walking from place to place in the hot sun, but still did not buy much although everything was cheap with the conversion of the currency.
Besides shopping, visited a famous Catholic church & went to the peak of a hill to view the whole of Cebu & countless stars above which was absolutely breath-taking.
Went tanning & snorkeling which was damn super fun! $40/person which I think is considered cheap to be jetted off to an island. The best part was time was unlimited & we had the whole boat to ourself. So, went for 2.5hours cos we got tired & it was going to rain.
With that, my holiday ended with a very friendly cab driver telling us how the rich are getting richer & the poor are getting poorer, how fuel prices are rising very quickly & how the money he earned as a cab driver goes to his children's education & food.

What I felt was fruitful about my holiday were the scenes I witnessed before my eyes which were so real & heart-breaking.
I witnessed a little girl trying to sell small packs of food in the rain.
She looked 8 years old, yet anyone can tell by her body language that the rain was not going to dampen her spirit and determination to earn money for her family.
I saw many- a blind man, a few children, a sister holding her 3-year-old sibling, walking on the road begging from car to car as they tried to convince drivers to even wind down their window.
While walking along the street, I witnessed a child around 10 years old sleeping half-naked on the pavement with flies around him.
Just imagine, I was walking to the next air-conditioned mall, yet there was a child lying or almost rotting, with no one knowing whether he was even still alive.
Engulfed with guilt but still I did not stop to help, yet alone the many passers-by who walk pass.
Then after, I witnessed a group of children sitting on the pavement counting the pennies that they collected, deciding how to distribute them equally.
And as we walked past many fruit markets filled with children peeling carrots and potatoes, a silent 'child labour' came out from my Mum's mouth.
All these are not exaggerated if it sounds like the usual boring National Geographic or CNN, its all for real & I had the chance to witness them, whether you consider me fortunate or not.
Witnessing all these really opens up your eyes to realize how fortunate you may be, whether you live in a HDB or a condominium, it really does not matter anymore.
It is true when people say "It is only when you see for yourself then you will know"

However even after seeing & thinking about what I had seen on my flight back to Singapore, it still doesnt change my perspective towards studying with my Midyears only 2 weeks away.
In a way, I've been affected deeply yet I still do not take my opportunity to study seriously although I know there are children who cannot afford to go to school.
Somehow I'm half worried I'm going to fail my Midyears which take up 30% of whether I'll be retained or not & the other half very lazy & cannot be bothered to study.
Upon realizing how grateful I should be for my family, education, house, that still does not make me smile.
What is going to make me smile in my sleep is the compliment together with an applause for being the most improved player out of my whole team in yesterday's 4 hours of friendly match against NTU + training.
^^




















How we came back to shore from our boat (behind) cos it was low tide.
















Look like an idiot w the snorkel hahaha! Look at the water, so much nicer than Singapore's.















So much darker than me but still sisters

In about 1.5hours, I'll be going to Cebu, until Thursday night bout 11pm.
Feels shitty yet good to be neglecting my incomplete & yet-to-be started homework.
I think I'll be at the beach for 3 straight days.
Thinking if I should tell my Mum & sis bout my piercing if not I'll just remove it.

To the 7 girls if you're reading:
Those heartbroken, pls be strong & dont sympathize yourself anymore.
Those with exams, study hard & do well!

To any others:
I'LL BE BAAACK! Sarah, I miss you!