Monday, February 18, 2008

I got posted to PJC Arts. Submitted my appeal to JJ Arts last week.
Appeal results are out tmr & since I havent got a call, I'm not going JJ already.
I think I'm in denial that JJ would call.
Was reluctant to go PJ cos from the COP it's lousy. Being slightly complacent, I thought I should be in a better school like JJ.
My mentality changed cos I realize there are apparently quite a number of single pointers in PJ.
I like PJ now so I shouldnt be thinking bout the call from JJ already. Cos PJ's a nice school I guess.
Orientation last week was damn fun, but damn tiring also. 3 mass dances!
Lectures started today. They're quite alright actually. I prefer lecture style to classroom style. But GP lecture damn dry even though it barely started today.
My mum keeps pestering me to go read Newsweek, Times, Newspaper, 8 Days. (Hahah, nah no 8 Days) cos I'm damn scared for GP but yet super lazy to read.
In case anyone's wondering, I take H2 Maths, Econs, Geog & H1 Chem.
Went for Dance Auditions last week but I didnt expect to get in cos I was super nervous & people said it's actually quite hard to get in.
Went for Cheerleading Trials just now (Nana, HAYDEN!) & so I'm a cheerleader if I stay in Cheerleading hahah.
But when I checked the board, I passed the dance auditions! Super shocking.
Dont know which one now!
CCA DILEMMA :(
Cheerleading: 3trgs/week, Cheerobics in April & June, Adrenalin rush!! Super thrilling to stand on a guy's shoulders (& thats only the basic)
Dance: 2 trgs/week, SYF next year.
CRAAAAP. I dont know if I'm still going Tennis Trials on Wednesday cos I considered Tennis!

Gregory told me to watch this last week.
They're damn hilarious!!
Nana, you MUST watch this!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdLCEwEFCMU&feature=related
People who read my blog & say its emo MUST watch this!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pK4bLMd0avU&feature=related

Banluck picnic @ Botanical Gardens! 23 February :)

Thursday, February 14, 2008

I don't know how to put whatever I'm feeling in words.
I am feeling very super ultra mega nostalgic. (not emo)
I really miss everyone, all 7 of you girls. Together.
All 8 of us. Together. Key word here is t-o-g-e-t-h-e-r.
Right from the very beginning, I do not know if I was even considered a part of you all. A part of, the 8 of us.
Maybe this is because when you all were out or somewhere, I had tuitions to go, mainly btw Sec 3-4.
Sometimes I felt so disappointed I was not able to be a part or helped with everything you all went through.
Because I, for one am not someone all of you all could really talk to maybe because sometimes I cannot relate to whatever that you're facing.
And because I did not fully open up myself about problems I was facing, neither did all of you. So whatever talk about problems you all were facing, I did not know about them until someone within us told me.
I also was afraid that you all would insult XBF thus it elevated to my closing in.
So because I felt both inferior & embarrassed due to my self-esteem problem, it made me feel worse & disheartened.
Inferior because all of you were slim, skinny, popular, rich, pretty, smart even when you didnt need to study.
But as for me, I'm the total opposite of all of you. Fat, ugly, short, poor, stupid etc.
I look at all of you and I feel glad & fortunate that I have/had you all around with me for these few years.
As I never fully opened up, I am honestly not close to all of you although I wanted very much to be. & because of that, I would always ponder how long this friendship would last, this loving companionship with all of you.
Somehow or rather, I knew this day would come. The day when something happens, I would lose contact with all of you. That I am not going to be the one you would still keep in contact.
Although this whole feud didnt affect me directly, I feel affected mainly because I want to be friends with both sides. Specifically all 6 of you girls & Sharon.
Sharon, it really isnt your fault because I chose to be friends with you. But yet at the same time, I want to be friends with all.

The whole reason I'm blogging & keeping this within my blog instead of just msging or calling anyone of you up, is because since specifically Yulin & Eileen said its over, I do not wish to interfere and complicate things further with my own feelings.
So if any of the you girls read this, I'll be glad you finally know how I felt.
Or if you sent even a message to me regarding this or anything else, I'll be glad too.
If not, I'm just going to let things be.
I dont know where I stand within the 8 of us currently as the whole situation is quite weird for me, and maybe I'll never know.
As all of us begin a new chapter of our lives very soon, I am unsure that there's a slightest possibility to keep in contact and go out with all of you together (key word, together) due to difference in school & timetables, even if everything sort of works out.
I dont know how it might work as it'll be rather complicated.
How to begin, how it will become, what the ending may be (or has it already ended between me & all of you), but yet I honestly thought, hoped, wished, prayed, desired things would be better, & well, am still hoping.

I dont know how all of you will react to this if there's even the slightest impact, or what impression I may give to anyone, but anyhow, I loved & will love all of you.
Whether we mend the broken parts of this friendship or lose contact, dare I say, forever, I want to say that I have always cared and loved all of you.
Although I did not show it or was unable to express it because I did not fully opened up which is something I regret I did not do, all of you could not tell but I truly cherished all of you.
Every single one, every single moment spent.
Just because you all were there, the presence of all of you or just someone I cherish being there for me really gladdens me.
KBYE I'M GONNA JUMP DOWN NOW!
Hahaha okay noo kidding. Did I spoil the momentum? Haha!

Thanks for reading if you read from the beginning to the end of this post.
This is my longest entry ever, and also the most heartfelt and most honest entry.
I'm lacking in vocabulary so I used alot of because. For the record, 10 times.



Without a single doubt, my most favourite, most fondest, most unforgettable memory in 2007, or perhaps in my life- My SUPER DUPER Sweet Sixteen!

Still hoping, still yearning things will take a turn for the better.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Happy Chinese New Year to all!
Although the number of houses to visit are decreasing year by year, but nonetheless, good food, good company, loss of $8 to banluck, many angbaos recieved, I had a good chinese new year.
Hopefully everyone did too :)

Unfortunately, there are some who are not as fortunate as the rest of us.
If you read the front page of today's New Paper, you would've known a flat on the 3rd floor of a HDB flat in Toa Payoh Lorong 1 was completely burnt yesterday.
I was in my mum's friend's facial shop at the first floor of that same HDB flat.
When suddenly, the sound of glass shattering onto the floor & ear-piercing screams & cries were heard what sounded like a gang fight.
Needless to say, we ran out to see what was the commotion.
To our utter shock & dismay, a house on the 3rd floor was on fire.
The raging fire was damn huge everyone could see fire burning inside the house from 3 floors down. The whole house was just covered in smoke.
My mum said she saw the owner at the staircase landing crying on the phone probably to her husband to hurry come home.
Typical Singaporeans all crowded around to watch the smoke growing in volume, height, amount whatever you name it.
15 mins later, the fire engine hurried & the firemen got into action.
The firemen had a hard time retrieving water from the fire engine because apparently there was a problem water came out from the bottom of the fire engine.
But still they did all that they could to put off the fire.
I was disgusted when I heard a woman saying 'Wahlao! Just put a ladder there lah'
She doesnt realize it will be even more tedious.
Singaporeans full of talk only but totally no action.
This reminds me of that chengyu. Which I forgot.
The press came abit too late because they could only take pictures of the extinguished fire while almost everyone there took pictures of the raging fire itself.
A woman was brought out on a stretcher into the ambulance after that.

Events like this always impact me that I should be more appreciative & grateful of everything I have around. Which is actually my New Year Resolution so I was reminded to keep it. Hope all those affected will be good & watched over.
On a rather equally upsetting note, Amy Winehouse won 5 awards at the Grammys OMG.
Nooo she doesnt deserve it. I dont like her! She's just so, unworthy!
NO NO NOOOOO SOMEONE TAKE HER AWARDS AWAY.
Even, Umbrella by Rihanna doesnt deserve it!
On the other hand, performance by Fergie, Kanye West & Foo fighters were damn awesome!

So I heard JAE posting results are out next Tuesday 19 February. Which means, probably either JJC or PJC is waiting for me the next day.
SHIT I'm not ready for school! Work deprived me of the ability to bum around & desire to lead a decadent life.
I can picture a huge pile of books awaiting me.
NOOOOO I DONT WISH TO GO TO SCHOOL!
Someone save me. Please. Now.









Shit pictures make me wanna buy a SLR quick! But no money :(

And so, I'll be spending Valentines Day with my dearest beloved newfound love Nintendo Wii. It's gonna be our 2 weeks anniversary YAY!